You read about them in the newspapers and see their faces in magazines: "From Junior Executive to CEO". And you think to yourself, "Lucky bugger."
I look at the people around me...
A creative director who constantly asks, "What's next for me?"
A peer my age and already co-partner of a company handling $50,000 projects.
A friend who will be entering medical school soon - to become a neurosurgeon.
Budding doctors, corporate lawyers...the list goes on.
And then there's me.
What went wrong for me? Where's my drive to the top? Where's my passion?
I thought I had a sizzle, perhaps a little flame of desire burning inside me. I had my fair share of dreams, but then one day, it all vanished. It's like I had lost one side of my earrings, misplaced a passion somewhere, or subconsciously watered out my flame.
Autopilot.
I've come to settle for what I've got. I don't put my extra effort in, and I cruise on in life without an aim. I'm happy collecting my monthly salary, not asking for anything more. I do wonder what's next for me, but I don't do anything to change it.
I guess I'm learning, but I'm just not taking an active approach to it. I could be asking more questions, reading up on some past presentations, analysing some market figures, or just doing more. Everything is at my disposal, I have access to endless information, but here I am sitting at my desk, writing blog entries, surfing the net, checking emails and everything else except work.
Laziness.
I'm being dishonest if I try to argue I'm not. I can foresee my future. I'm just a girl in the office, carrying out my daily work routine. The clock chimes 6pm and I'm out of the door. I'm still at the same position as I was today, perhaps a $100 pay rise for staying on so long, but I'm still an executive. I'm still doing the same things, not anything more.
I tell myself I'll work harder. Just yesterday, I reminded myself to strive. If you strive, you'll be noticed, and if you slack, you'll also be noticed. At least when a job opportunity comes along or a pay rise is involved, I'd feel like I earned it. If I do not strive and sit here at my desk everyday, not making a difference to the company, I wouldn't expect any raise or promotion.
But life goes on.
It's true. Life goes on. I'll probably have a job, just not a great job. I'll be able to afford my neccessities and the occassional splurge, but nothing luxurious. I'll have a life - I'll be alive.
Stop.
Let's return to my resolve my problem, or the lack of it. Where o where can I find my passion?
Mathematics - Goodness, can I still do those sec 4 trig questions? And then what?
Architecture - Gave up on that before I even attempted it.
Advertising - Tried that and over that.
Marketing - Is it really where my passion lies? If so, shouldn't I be actively learning instead of feeling so empty?
What do they say about a person without passion?
He has "no more value than a candle without a flame or fire without light." (Chuck Gallozzi)
Thanks Chuck! That's awefully comforting!
Can a person without passion ever find passion?
"Passion can be created. Even for things you don’t currently enjoy. By tweaking the activities and pursuits you engage in, you can find a passion for anything.
All it takes is a bit of patience and an open mind." (Scott Young)
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Happy Valentine's Day!
Happy Valentine's Day
&
Happy 3rd Anniversary, Shoppa-Fcuk-Aholic!!
Goodness, it's been 3 years since I've kept a blog? That's such an accomplishment!
As
Goodness, it's been 3 years since I've kept a blog? That's such an accomplishment!
As
suggests..."May we grow old together!"
Family Time
Over the Chinese New Year period while everyone was busy with shopping for new clothes, spring cleaning, reunion dinner preparations and so on...where have I been?
I was busy shopping for new clothes, shoes, etc - not for me, but for my family in NZ. While everyone was spring cleaning, I was busy packing my 25kg luggage + 4kg fragile luggage + 5kg handcarry packed with Chinese New Year goodies. While everyone returned to Singapore for reunion dinner, I was fleaing out of the country for my reunion dinner in NZ.
The real holiday started on Friday, 1st February. The whole time at work, my chest literally felt like it was bursting with excitment. I felt like my heart could not contain the anticipation and I actually found it hard to breath.
At 10 minutes to 6pm, I dashed out of the office and grabbed a cab home. It was 6.40pm when I arrived him, my flight was at 9.05pm, meaning I should have been at the airport around 7.05pm for check-in. I leaped into the shower and back out in 5 minutes and did my last bit of packing before speeding off to the airport, arriving at 7.15pm.
My flight to NZ was fantastic. I think the guy at the check-in counter at Singapore airport was really nice to me as both flights from Singapore to Brisbane and then Brisbane to Auckland, I had the entire row to myself.
When I arrived in NZ, my family exchanged big welcome hugs and we headed home - our new home.
The first word that came to my mouth while touring the beautiful new house - WOW.
I think I said 'WOW' about 20 times while I was showed around, from the living room, to the kitchen, to the bedrooms. I LOVED IT.
After the tour, it was presents time. We gathered in the living room and I distributed all the goodies to my family members. I'd have to say out of everything I bought them, only 1 pair of heels for my sis didn't fit.
That evening, Aunty Mary came by and we went out for Vietnamese dinner.
On Sunday after church, we left on our roadtrip. 1st stop was Rotorua. The main idea was to patronise the spa pools, but we ended up finding a motel with sizeable jacuzzi spa in our unit and we settled for that. The next morning, we headed to Matamata to visit Hobbiton...
And after the tour, we moved on to Tauranga for the night. On Tuesday, we took a detour to a lavender farm and then PANCAKES. However, pancakes were a disappointment as they must have changed management/ cook. The pancake base was thick and it wasn't as appetising as it was last time. Such a waste.
That Tuesday evening, I met my usual uni group of friends for dinner. It was nice catching up with them. We retreated to my place for more hanging out.
On Wednesday, Chinese New Year eve and also Waitangi Day in NZ (meaning it's a public holiday), we didn't go far. In the morning, we went shopping for ingredients for our steamboat, and went shopping after that. In the afternoon, we came home to prepare for our yummy yummy steamboat. Once again, we bought too many ingredients and had plenty of leftovers...
Thursday morning, we took a short drive in the morning up North to the Honey Centre, where we had delicious pies and bought honey products. Then, we did a little shopping at another new mall that has been built in Auckland, before returning home to prepare for our feast. Mum had invited 8 of her colleagues over to our place for a homecooked asian dinner. That late afternoon, Laura and I made delicious and very successful nutella cupcakes!
And mum cooked up a storm to serve her colleagues from different nationalities. We had Singaporeans (us), Philippino, South Africans, Kiwi, French, and Indians!!! We served curry chicken, marinated grilled chicken wings, mix vegetables with tofu, satay and pork balls.
On Friday morning, we went west to a black-sand beach, pitched a mini-tent and had fish and chips. Though the sand was far far too hot (especially when it's black) and the noon sun was scorching, it was a beautiful day to be out by the beach. Out of all the short trips we did this holiday, I loved this the most.
That afternoon, we came home and soaked in the nice jacuzzi in our gorgeous master-bathroom.
On Saturday morning, I dragged myself out of bed to meet dad and mum at the church's barn sale. Instead of helping around, I went for breakfast and a nice wake-up mochaccino. Then, we did more grocery shopping - I was throwing a bbq that evening with my friends.
After lunch, dad and I went to the driving range for a short while and in the evening, I busied myself with preparation for the bbq. The turnout wasn't as big as we had expected, but the boys were big eaters so we didn't end up with too much leftovers.
On Sunday after church, we had lunch at The Coffee Club (NZ version), a little bit of shopping, and lazed around at home that day.
In the evening, I met Soon Yi, my korean friend who used to teach me Korean, for dinner.
Monday came around. For lunch, we had yummy pizzas and for dinner, mongolian bbq buffet. It was a very full day! We spent the rest of the day shopping and the night packing my luggage till past midnight.
Tuesday was the last day of my holiday. In the morning, we went out to the bank to get our pins on our new cards, before rushing home to do the last bit of packing of my 27kg luggage.
By 2.30pm, I was on the plane and by 10pm, I had arrived in Singapore, greeted by my grandparents and my honey!!!
I was busy shopping for new clothes, shoes, etc - not for me, but for my family in NZ. While everyone was spring cleaning, I was busy packing my 25kg luggage + 4kg fragile luggage + 5kg handcarry packed with Chinese New Year goodies. While everyone returned to Singapore for reunion dinner, I was fleaing out of the country for my reunion dinner in NZ.
The real holiday started on Friday, 1st February. The whole time at work, my chest literally felt like it was bursting with excitment. I felt like my heart could not contain the anticipation and I actually found it hard to breath.
At 10 minutes to 6pm, I dashed out of the office and grabbed a cab home. It was 6.40pm when I arrived him, my flight was at 9.05pm, meaning I should have been at the airport around 7.05pm for check-in. I leaped into the shower and back out in 5 minutes and did my last bit of packing before speeding off to the airport, arriving at 7.15pm.
My flight to NZ was fantastic. I think the guy at the check-in counter at Singapore airport was really nice to me as both flights from Singapore to Brisbane and then Brisbane to Auckland, I had the entire row to myself.
When I arrived in NZ, my family exchanged big welcome hugs and we headed home - our new home.
The first word that came to my mouth while touring the beautiful new house - WOW.
I think I said 'WOW' about 20 times while I was showed around, from the living room, to the kitchen, to the bedrooms. I LOVED IT.
After the tour, it was presents time. We gathered in the living room and I distributed all the goodies to my family members. I'd have to say out of everything I bought them, only 1 pair of heels for my sis didn't fit.
That evening, Aunty Mary came by and we went out for Vietnamese dinner.
On Sunday after church, we left on our roadtrip. 1st stop was Rotorua. The main idea was to patronise the spa pools, but we ended up finding a motel with sizeable jacuzzi spa in our unit and we settled for that. The next morning, we headed to Matamata to visit Hobbiton...
And after the tour, we moved on to Tauranga for the night. On Tuesday, we took a detour to a lavender farm and then PANCAKES. However, pancakes were a disappointment as they must have changed management/ cook. The pancake base was thick and it wasn't as appetising as it was last time. Such a waste.
That Tuesday evening, I met my usual uni group of friends for dinner. It was nice catching up with them. We retreated to my place for more hanging out.
On Wednesday, Chinese New Year eve and also Waitangi Day in NZ (meaning it's a public holiday), we didn't go far. In the morning, we went shopping for ingredients for our steamboat, and went shopping after that. In the afternoon, we came home to prepare for our yummy yummy steamboat. Once again, we bought too many ingredients and had plenty of leftovers...
Thursday morning, we took a short drive in the morning up North to the Honey Centre, where we had delicious pies and bought honey products. Then, we did a little shopping at another new mall that has been built in Auckland, before returning home to prepare for our feast. Mum had invited 8 of her colleagues over to our place for a homecooked asian dinner. That late afternoon, Laura and I made delicious and very successful nutella cupcakes!
And mum cooked up a storm to serve her colleagues from different nationalities. We had Singaporeans (us), Philippino, South Africans, Kiwi, French, and Indians!!! We served curry chicken, marinated grilled chicken wings, mix vegetables with tofu, satay and pork balls.
On Friday morning, we went west to a black-sand beach, pitched a mini-tent and had fish and chips. Though the sand was far far too hot (especially when it's black) and the noon sun was scorching, it was a beautiful day to be out by the beach. Out of all the short trips we did this holiday, I loved this the most.
That afternoon, we came home and soaked in the nice jacuzzi in our gorgeous master-bathroom.
On Saturday morning, I dragged myself out of bed to meet dad and mum at the church's barn sale. Instead of helping around, I went for breakfast and a nice wake-up mochaccino. Then, we did more grocery shopping - I was throwing a bbq that evening with my friends.
After lunch, dad and I went to the driving range for a short while and in the evening, I busied myself with preparation for the bbq. The turnout wasn't as big as we had expected, but the boys were big eaters so we didn't end up with too much leftovers.
On Sunday after church, we had lunch at The Coffee Club (NZ version), a little bit of shopping, and lazed around at home that day.
In the evening, I met Soon Yi, my korean friend who used to teach me Korean, for dinner.
Monday came around. For lunch, we had yummy pizzas and for dinner, mongolian bbq buffet. It was a very full day! We spent the rest of the day shopping and the night packing my luggage till past midnight.
Tuesday was the last day of my holiday. In the morning, we went out to the bank to get our pins on our new cards, before rushing home to do the last bit of packing of my 27kg luggage.
By 2.30pm, I was on the plane and by 10pm, I had arrived in Singapore, greeted by my grandparents and my honey!!!
Friday, February 01, 2008
TONIGHT
Tonight is the night I'm off to NZ.
I wouldn't say, "time flies coz just yesterday I was complaining it was still 3 more weeks."
The fact is, I have been counting down since 3 weeks ago and I have emails, blogs and a boyfriend to be my witness.
Nevertheless, I am glad the day is there!! I do hope I can keep awake today during work coz I'm so tired, having slept at 2am early this morning. Perhaps I'll have a good night's sleep on the plane. But then think about the movies onair?
I can't wait to see my parents, I can't wait to see my sister, I can wait to see my new house, I can't wait for New Zealand - it seems like the last time I said this was when my whole family was running away aka migrating from Singapore to NZ.
"I'll be back!"
I wouldn't say, "time flies coz just yesterday I was complaining it was still 3 more weeks."
The fact is, I have been counting down since 3 weeks ago and I have emails, blogs and a boyfriend to be my witness.
Nevertheless, I am glad the day is there!! I do hope I can keep awake today during work coz I'm so tired, having slept at 2am early this morning. Perhaps I'll have a good night's sleep on the plane. But then think about the movies onair?
I can't wait to see my parents, I can't wait to see my sister, I can wait to see my new house, I can't wait for New Zealand - it seems like the last time I said this was when my whole family was running away aka migrating from Singapore to NZ.
"I'll be back!"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)