Weirded Out: X vs EK

What could it possibly mean? I woke up from my dream, my eyebrows frowning in deep ponder. I replayed the dream over again.

It was my big day - my wedding. Of course I had a best guy friend who was there for me all my life - who watched over me, took care of me, lent me his shoulder to cry on, been there for me through thick and thin, etc. But he wasn't the one. I was getting married to my boyfriend, let's name him X (he is a real person in my life and I wish for his name to be anonymous because I haven't figured this dream out yet).

We were having a beautiful beach side wedding and we had rented a house by the beach where the wedding preparations were going on. My parents, grandparents, relatives and unknown strangers were all there.

Cut to the next scene where I was running out of the house with tears streaming down my face, announcing to all the stunned relatives as I made my departure, "I'm not getting married to X!"

I ran down the path to the beach and threw myself onto the sand, sobbing. I had a massive quarrel with X and I didn't want to marry him. My mother and sister came after me, and after some persuasion and coaxing, I agreed to go through with the wedding and returned to the house.

I ignored all my relatives, who returned me a smile of understanding - pre-wedding jitters.

I went back to the room where I was supposed to be preparing. X was there too. I ignored him and went about doing my own things. I was still filled with anger (I'm not too sure what we had argued about as this part of the dream was kinda blurry).

Cut to another scene where I'm not there. It was just my relatives sitting around a table outside in the hall, talking. One of them said, "She should be getting married to EK (my best friend in this dream). He's the right one for her, not X. You'll see, this wedding won't be happening."

And that's when I was drawn back to reality.

What does it mean? Why was I getting married to another guy friend of mine and why wasn't it EK? Why was EK my best friend in the dream?

The only conclusions I can draw from this dream is:
(1) I'm thinking of getting married!!
(2) I'm watching too many Korean dramas!!

Since we are on the topic of dreams, let me update you on yet another dream I had recently, which I still, surprisingly, remember. This dream was a lot weirder than the previous.

My friends and I were on a road trip. At that time, my current boyfriend was X (strangely enough, it was the same X from the dream above - why does he always play the boyfriend?).

The group of us stopped by this old house for a rest. Then, a large evil snake who lived in the house appeared and sealed us from leaving. The snake held us captive. The snake, with magical powers, transformed itself into a human being. This human being was EK. He held us captive.

Cut to the next scene where we were let out, but still under the snake's watch. The snake human kept me near him, wanting to know more about me because he liked me. I tried to play along with him, not wanting to get into the bad books of the snake for fears of being eaten up.

Cut to the next scene where I was released for a while and I went to find my boyfriend X who was with my girl friends. He was chatting and enjoying himself and I was so angry with him because he seemed like he had totally forgotten about me.

That's as much as I can remember today. This dream was about a week ago so I can't quite remember the details as well as the one above, but yet again, this dream had X as my boyfriend, and EK was the third party - but this time around, he was the evil snake!!

Goodness, why are my dreams so complex?

Breakouts...Breakdown

What is the use of spending almost two thousand dollars on facial for a whole year when the reaction I get from other facial centres is 'you just did facial last week'?

It's depressing, dejecting, dispiriting, discouraging, disheartening, discomposing, melancholic, miserable, tear-jerking, upsetting and what more do I need to say for you to get how I feel?

LIKE IT WAS AN UTTER WASTE OF MONEY!! I could have spent it on another LV wallet and got something back in return. I could have spent it on medication and seen faster results. I could have saved the money for my future!!!

But then would I do otherwise? I don't know. Beauty comes at a price, no?

Yesterday, I went to check out yet another facial centre. The plan I've signed on to at my current facial centre is finishing in about 1 month's time. (Yes, I signed on to it last April so you do the math and work out if it has even been a year!) So I was sourcing for other alternatives since it's far too expensive for me to afford another year at this place.

As the lady working at this facial centre explained the types of facials available to me, and introduced a trial facial for $38 (original facial price is $280 per facial!!!), I agreed and said I wouldn't book for a slot this weekend as I had just done facial on Sunday.

She turned and looked at me, staring closer to my face as if she was shocked. She commented that it didn't look like I had done facial just a couple of days ago and asked me about my breakouts and so on and so forth, as if asking me why I was still going to this facial centre.

I felt utterly horrid. My skin is flawed, I admit to that. I have zits on my cheeks, above my upper lip, at the side of my mouth, on my chin, and on my forehead (that practically covers my whole face). If you'd ask me to count, I'd say right now I have about 10 visible zits living on my face. I have scars from my previous breakouts, red and blotchy, which never seem to heal or lighten dispite the many treatments I've gone to which claimed to lighten scars.

But the facial centre I currently go to is reputable. Their services and equipments are professional and they have outlets in major malls. They wouldn't be entirely useless, I try to convince myself.

The above isn't the only example. I went to another centre to try out their services and my face had so much clogs that the specialist was compelled to ask what my current facial centre was doing? Were they even extracting these deep clogs? When I confronted my current facial specialist, she said there are some you cannot extract because it is so deep. They do not want to cause further scaring. It takes time to clear the face of impurities.

But it's hard to stay positive when you receive these comments like people don't believe you had just been to facial a couple of days ago. What does this tell about my facial treatments? It's lousy or your face is beyond hope.

I don't know which is better. I've spent so much money on my face this last year, I hardly want to admit that it was all for nothing. I want to know that if I hadn't gone for any treatment, my face would have been worse off. I want to know that the facials I've paid hundreds for each time was worth it. At least I had some results. But I'll never know, and I'm scared to find out which is true. Is it true that my face would have been worse if I didn't do facial? (I can stop facial and find out in a couple of month's time - and if it is true, I'll have to start treatment all over again to get it back to what it was before.) If it is not true and my face remains what it is today? (I've spent about two thousand dollars this year, just fixing my face, and you tell me that it's just that and I can't do anything about these breakouts? That what about all the other facial specialists who tell their customers that they must clear their skin of clogs - is that all a lie?)

I don't know what to do right now. So many ladies go for facial, that must say something about facial being good for your skin. But I'm frustrated with my face. I'm so frustrated with the money I've spent, just to receive such comments in return. With one comment, my hopes, my optimism, my aspirations that one day I may have clear skin - all that came crashing down.

How can a person be confident if she's so frustrated with her complexion? Make-up only does what is short-term - for that couple of hours. Make-up may be magical for the hours it's on, it may transform a plain jane into a super model, but once make-up is removed, all your flaws are revealed once again, and it could even be worse. It's a vicious cycle which I'm sure I've mentioned before. A person uses make-up to conseal the zits, more zits breakout because of the clogged pores, and more make-up goes on in order to cover the additional zits. I call this the beautiful zits lifecycle.

So how can one achieve confidence in her appearance? The answer lies in the money.

With money, you can go for weekly facials and gold treatments.
With money, you can go for lazer - the quick option to get rid of zits.
With money, you can hire a specialist to take care of your dietary needs.
With money, you don't need to work, you can attempt to sleep early almost every night.
With money, I wouldn't be writing this entry about the money I've wasted for this past 1 year and the depressing results I've achieved from it.

GOOGLE Christmas to one and all!!!

I never understood why EK loves going to Yahoo,
or why there are search engines like DogPile!

I only seek one answer from the world wide web, and that's Google!

Google is always there to share!

When the winter olympics was happening, Google celebrated it from the start...



...and to the end...



And this Christmas, Google didn't miss a heartbeat. It started with a ribbon...



And then added some paint...



And they threw in more decorations...



And they sprinkled some sparkles...



And 'WALLAH'...A Google Christmas masterpiece!!



(P.S. I feel like a spokesperson for Google.
For more information, please visit http://www.google.com/)

The Eve

Christmas is tomorrow!!!

I love Christmas. It's my most favourite time of the year, and I think it is especially so for many christians around the world. Christmas is not only about presents and dinners. It's more than that. It's about the coming of Jesus Christ, the spirit of giving, the warmth of family and the joy of love.

That's why I love Christmas. Having grown up in a christian family, christmas has always been an important day for us to gather as a family to celebrate. I love the Christmas dinners, the church celebrations, even the carols are so much more meaningful than 'Santa Claus is coming to town' or 'Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells'.

That's why Christmas means so much to me. But of course, in an influential world, the practices like putting up a Christmas tree, buying presents for loved ones, watching lovely Christmas movies about Santa Clauses, elves, and Reindeers are also some of my favourite ways of celebrating Christmas.

Take for example my last two days, the last weekend before Christmas. I met up with old friends, went shopping, watched many Christmas movies (even ones I've seen countless of times before), watched a Christmas Performance at Church, heard the word of God with fellow Christians, shared a Christmas dinner with relatives and sang beautiful carols to the strum of the guitar.

It was such a joy and I'm thankful to get the best of both worlds.

Surfing the BBB

I love blog surfing!! It can be such a joy and yet also such a downer.

Joy:

It's always nice to catch up with friends' lives...
Know what they've been up to...
Get to know who they've been with...
Share in their happiness...
And hear about their disappointments...

It's nice to see pictures...
Whether they've grown thinner...
And even prettier...
See the universe through their eyes (or pictures)...
And experience a taste of their world...

But sometimes...it's also a downer:

You wish you could be there...
And experience it first-hand...

You wonder what else they've done...
And whether they've missed you...

You realise time's slipping by...
And you're slowly losing touch...

But most of all...

You discover that you have your own lives to live...
And it is this path you have chosen...
So you have the make the most of it...
But you'll know where you can find them...

An email or a text message away, a sea or a sky apart...
A link on the www, or a surf on the bbb...

But the one place that lasts forever...
And that is in YOUR HEART!

CHRISTMAS FRANTIC!

This year, Christmas has crept in so silently, I'm quite shocked. I haven't even started my countdown and it's already less than 2 weeks till Christmas!

This fact just dawned on me today when my colleague came in giving chocolate presents, saying she'll be away till the 1st of January. Next week, my bosses are going back to France for their Christmas holidays. Christmas is coming!!

How could I not feel it?! How did I miss all the signs? I knew of talk about Christmas holidays when I went for lunch with colleagues, I saw the Christmas lights at Orchard Road (but they always put it up way early anyway) and Grandpa was talking about getting tickets to the church Christmas dinner, but they always advertise so very early.

But it's not early! it's only 11 days till Christmas! Christmas is coming and I'm not yet in the Christmasy mood! THAT'S A MAJOR CRISIS!

I need to get into the Christmas mood. Christmas is my most favourite time of the year! It's when beautiful Christmas carols are shared and the spirit of giving is all around. But I have not even shopped for Christmas prezzies! What was I doing? Daydreaming? I feel like Christmas isn't till next month!

Gosh, Christmas is practically next week!

Next weekend would be the the 22nd and 23rd of December, then 24th is Christmas Eve and goodness gracious me, it'll be the 25th before I know it!

And I haven't even started blasting Christmas songs!!! AHHHHHH.

So it is done. It shall start as of today!!

Drive Me Crazy

I'm insanely bored. I've even signed on to facebook and left a message to a long lost primary school classmate of mine! It's crazy!! There's nothing to do...AHHH. Why am I even at work?! And I even went in search of a childhood friend of mine! CRAZY I tell you.

Happy Happy Weekended

The weekended (past-tense: weekend that has just ended) was HAPPY HAPPY.

So MANY MANY HAPPPY HAPPY things happened. Maybe not so MANY MANY, but HAPPY HAPPY enough (I seem to be running out of vocab).

What did I do?

HAPPY HAPPY (1) - SHOES, SHOES, GLORIOUS SHOES!

On Thursday, EK finally saw my shoe cupboard and agreed I needed new pretty shoes, so on Friday evening after work, we did some serious shoe shopping. This is a great shopaholic treat! I decided against the expensive pair of sandles from Guess which cost $118 after discount, and went with the cheaper alternative - Charles and Keith. I figured I could buy more with less than $100! And so I did. I've now got 2 new pairs of pretty sandles for work!!! And they are comfortable too coz it's neither 3 inches high, nor pointy toes. Feeling recharged on Saturday morning, a good dose of shoes really helps, I did major cleaning out of my shoe cupboard! I threw away 2 disgustingly rotten shoes - don't know why I still kept them (one had started flaking and cracking, the other had scratches and unreparable tears)!

Then I soaked, washed and scrubbed seven other pairs of shoes! I even did some minor repairs to a pair of shoes I only wore twice! The strap had broke off so I did some sewing and it served me well on Sunday!

It's like I gained nine new pairs of shoes over the weekend!

Mum, can you check if I have my pink pair of low boots in NZ? And how's its condition? I'd like to claim it when I return to NZ. Do you remember which one I'm talking about?

HAPPY HAPPY (2) - FANTAGHIRO MY HERO

My Christmas Prezzie from my daddy and mummy arrived when I got home on Friday late night or should I say Saturday early morning! MY CAVE OF THE GOLDEN ROSE, a.k.a. PRINCESS FANTAGHIRO!

LOVE LOVE LOVE. I immediately played it and watched it with EK - just the first disc though and we didn't get through it coz it was already so late. But it was FANTASTIC!!! I really miss the show! Can't wait to continue watching it tonight!

HAPPY HAPPY (3) - CALL ME TEXT ME JUST CONTACT ME!

It's been two years since I've been in Singapore!!! And this means, my phone plan is finally over. When I signed on to my first Singapore cell phone plan in Dec 2005, the phone cost $0 and the plan was the cheapest at $25 per month over a 24 month contract. Finally 24 months later, with my phone plan expiring in 4 days, I decided to treat myself to a new phone!!

So on the 8th of December 2007, Saturday, I dragged EK and we went to visit M1 at Paragon. I showed him the Sony Ericsson I had been eyeing. There were 2 of them. The W610i was going at $98 with a new 24 month contract, and W880i was at $198 with a 24 month contract. Obviously, the W880i phone was a lot more special than the cheaper one - AND NEWER! EK loved the colour of the W880i! So EK and myself immediately ruled out the W610i and found another $198 phone to compare the W880i with.

At first I wasn't sure if I should spend $200 on a new phone, especially when my first phone cost me nothing, but then again, my first phone was rather lousy. Not even 3G! The only plus point was coz it was a flip phone, which I was crazy over then.

After some comparison between the 2 phones that cost $198, I went with my first choice, the W880i. It was an easy decision. Most of the functions were the same as the other $198 phone: 1GB memory, 3G, video calling, 2.0 mega pixel camera, etc. Both were walkman phones...though one had better speakers for music, I'm not a particular over my sounds so this wasn't a point worth comparing. The next was radio function. The W880i did not have radio while the other had, but neither do I listen to radio, so it was a simple decision. I went with the one that looks the most elegant, class and stylish...


What do you think? Here are your choices:
1) Totally AWESOME!
2) Sooo COOL!
3) GOLD CHIC!
4) LOVE IT!

(And along with this purchase, I got a free BREE computer laptop bag worth $179, and redeemed my M1 sun perk points for a free prepaid card with $18 value - I didn't even know I had sun perk points and could redeem stuff but thankfully, I found out before the points expired on 18 December 2007!)

The Academy Award Winning Actress

I really wonder what my boss does all day...

Here I am sitting at my desk, wondering what's there to do on my end apart from waiting and I can't seem to find anything. So I'm pretending. Pretending to be working...

I'm surfing the web, reading my old blog entries, flipping through magazines, looking at our products, sending non-important work emails out, pretending to be sending emails out but really I'm blogging.

What I really want to do is to read my story book (it's due today and I've still got a quarter more to go), do earrings, play sudoku, etc. I don't even mind if all the perfume registration documents arrive from France so I can get the frustrating registration in Vietnam, Indonesia, Malaysia, and Philippines out of the way. And I wouldn't mind if all my quotations to come in so I can start work on our printing jobs...

Next week, I'm bringing in my electronic dictionary so I can learn korean while I'm here at work.

But I guess why time is moving so slowly is coz it's FRIDAY!!! Another weekend is here. Can't wait to spend it with EK. We always spend weekends together and I'm not one bit bored of his company, especially when we see each other almost every weeknight as well. Don't know what we'll be doing but if the weather's good, we'll go swimming then who knows...perhaps shopping??

We don't have any plans but that's the best part about it. Proper relaxation. I would like to make some earrings as well, it's been a long time since I've been productive...

Ahhh...the weekend!

Change of Mind

Perhaps one day I'll change my mind about the previous subject and here's why:

Bella rolled over so she could lie looking at her tiny son in his little crib beside her. Her son: the world resonated in her mind. In the gloom she could see that he wasn't sleeping any more, his eyes were open and fixed on hers. She felt overwhelmed with love. Don was on one side of her and this wonderful new baby was on the other. Nothing had ever felt so perfect and so complete before.

So...I'll keep you posted if ever I have a change in heart. But for now, I'm sticking to OMG...NEVER EVER EVER!

OMG...NEVER EVER EVER!

OMG I'm never ever going to have children! OMG OMG! I'm utterly freaked out right now...OMG...the pain...OMG! Honestly, how come there are so many humans in this world? How did all the mothers do it? OMG. Mum! I think you are amazing. OMG. I can't imagine myself going through it.

How did this all start? Carmen Reid, Three in Bed. Yes, blame it on the author of this book. Reading the synopsis, it was about a novel of a married woman who ends up giving birth and having to juggle her child and work. They never said anything about a whole chapter on the gory gory child birth itself and then the stitching up after labour! OMG OMG OMG. I'm freaked. I'm honestly FREAKED!

When I was younger, I told myself I couldn't go through child brith, I'd adopt. While I'm saving the world, I'm saving myself from loads of pain. Then I thought Cesarean isn't too bad. I'll be knocked out on drugs and wouldn't know the pain, until I realised the aftermath was even worst than giving birth the natural way. And the scars from the C-Section...NO THANKS. So then I thought, if my aunt and so many other woman is able to give birth the natural way, it shouldn't be too bad. So I changed my mind once again, though of course I know sometimes, the decision may not be in your hands. And then I read this chapter...and about the excruciating pain...okay, the lead did bring this upon herself by choosing a midwife and home birth instead of doing it properly at the hospital with machines and drugs to help with the pain...but let me give you some snippets, just a very tiny portion of snippets which cannot be compared to reading the entire chapter, but it'll have to do:

Before Birth:

When she closed her eyes and felt the pain grip, she knew this was what it was like to be tortured on a medieval rack. Lashed down on a frame, she was being cranked and stretched apart, wrenched open bit by agonizing bit. She was waiting to hear the crack and snap of ligaments being torn apart........

Don was standing in front of her, holding her up, Declan was at her side. She opened her eyes wide and was aware of the terrible, clear pain. They were holding her up, defying the force between her legs, which was dragging her down. She felt her knees buckle with the effort, but still they held her up. She made a primeval, guttural scream as she felt an enormous weight crash down against the whole band of muscle from her belly button down round to her anus. An irresistible force was urging her to push it out although it went against every instinct of pain avoidance and self-preservation. Her hip joints were screaming at the very edge of their sockets. And she had to push, knowing it was ripping her in half. Her anus was being pushed inside out. There was a wrecking ball inside her pelvis crushing and destroying everything in its path.........

The Aftermath:

The cord was cut, then Declan handed Markie over to Annie for a wash while he busied himself with delivering the placenta. When the enormous lump of raw liver slid out from between her legs, Bella saw she was sitting on a damp and bloody plastic sheet. She was naked and her legs were smeared with blood, dried blood and traces of shit. Her fingernails were dark with dried blood, her hair was soaked, blood was pooling between her legs and she was beginning to shiver.

Now do you understand why all the 'OMG's?

Creative Exposure

Actors
1 Art/Creative Director (played by EK)
1 Make-up Artist (played by Rina)
1 Photographer (played by Ben)
1 Extra (played by Lorraine)

Setting
The living room of the Creative Director's apartment.
The Make-up Artist, Photographer, Creative Director and Extra is sitting around the messy coffee table filled with Magazines, laptops, books, and a bowl of grapes. The Make-up Artist is telling the Extra about her recent make-up work, showing her a magazine cover with the made-up model on the front. The Photographer is discussing the upcoming photoshoot details with the Creative Director - the location, the lightings, the mood, the feel, etc.

Scene 1
Make-up Artist: I spent so long on her eye make-up. She's got one big and one small eye.
Extra: Oh yes, I can see that now that you mentioned it.
Make-up Artist: I had to balance the make-up so that her eyes appear similar. But she's got a perfect body.
Extra: She looks very slim and she's very pretty. Her look seems very flexible. She can be so sensual (flips over the page and points to a picture in the magazine), and yet so sweet in this other picture.
Creative Director (showing a spread in a magazine to the Photographer): Can you do this sort of lighting? Spotlights in the background? It'll go well with this music issue.
Photographer: I need depth, but studios are very small, and with the equipment, we won't have space!
Make-up Artist (joins in their conversation): I think Arena is a good place.
Photographer: MOS?
Creative Director: But can we take the equipment outside for the shoot?
Photographer: If the owner's your good friend.
Creative Director: You know where will be a good place? City Harvest. They've got wicked equipment, sound system, drums, guitars, keyboard, etc. We just need a member of that church!
Photographer: I used to be a member.
Creative Director: Oh! Then you can ask them if we can rent the space?
Photographer: My membership expired. And the place is too....too...white. Very churchlike. Not rock enough.

Extra (Deep in thoughts): I love seeing EK and his friends at work. The work they do is so much fun, all that discussion, preparation, selection of models, etc. Even though I can't contribute much, but I still love being there and soaking up the atmosphere, the creative juices, and learning all about the media industry.