Tuesday, May 31, 2005

The Price of Fashion: Unaffordably Painful

Today, I wore my pretty shocking-pink boots and right now, I'm suffering from the repercussions of it! OUCH! My entire feet aches, groans and moans in pain...owwwwwww!

stiletto heels + pointy shoes = mashed toes, sore soles, aching calves, tired legs and PAIN PAIN PAIN with every step taken

And all this just coz I wanted to wear this pair of PINK HEELS. Oh...not to mention the trouble of hunting through mum's closet for a matching top (I'm lacking in work tops...need more) and the picking out of a nice odd pair of earrings to match with the PINK. Yep...all for the sake of fashion...actually, all for the sake of this pair of boots - there was a reason why I haven't worn it for so long and NOW I KNOW.

Actually...it's not as bad as it sounds, I just like to exaggerate a little...makes life a little more interesting.

Monday, May 30, 2005


1) Add many cups of RAIN to a bowl.

2) Stir, spicing the mixture up with several dashes of HAIL in 15 minute intervals.

3) Simultaneously, whip the mixture constantly with CHILLED WIND.

4) Add a couple drops of GLOOMY CLOUDS to darken the entire mixture.

5) To thicken the mixture, throw in a couple cubes of FOG (similar effect to dried ice).

Note: If successful, mixture turns into beautiful white soft bits like cotten candy. Otherwise, mixture remains a cold watery substance.

Why did I take up this job offer?!?!?!?!


In fact, I'm not only freezing my arse off, I'm freezing my fingers numb, my brain stale and my internal organs as well!!!

How did I end up with this job??? I couldn't just settle for an office job, I couldn't just end up with a job that requires me to be cooped up in front of the computer all day long, my arse on a nice warm chair in a nice heated environment. No...I had to take up a job that requires me to go in and out of the office (sometimes spending even more time outdoors than in the office)...taking photos of cars, boats, houses, everything!! IN WINTER. IN THE RAIN. IN THE HAIL. IN THE WIND. *See recipe above* Okay, you don't hear me complaining during summer coz when it's summer, it's so gorgeous outside, I can't wait to take a drive in my baby and get out of the office, but when winter comes - which I offically announce is TODAY - it becomes a PAIN IN MY ARSE!

It was just freezing freezing today and can you imagine poor little Lorraine, braving the rain and wind so that she can get all the pictures she needs...and trust me, it's not easy balancing an umbrella (which reminds me I need to buy myself a big PINK golf umbrelly) with a camera in the other...and throw in a couple of number fingers - not good at all!!!

SOB...poor me huh!! Well...now I'm comfy at home (my manager decided to give all of us an earlier day - to drive safely and slowly home), under my pink Playboy blanket, with my thick jacket on, my nice comfy track pants and GLOVES. Ahhhh...beautiful!

Oh...one more thing to put into perspective...Mondays are the busiest for me, with 3 or more car yards on average and many other places to go - BAD BAD BAD start to the week!!

Thursday, May 26, 2005

God on my side!

Today, I went to work ON time (thought I would go in earlier but it isn't a morning if it's not rushed right?) and the computer screen was turned off. Still as it was the day before. I feared to turn it on and usually my assistant manager would turn it on, but somehow, she "sensed" my anxiety and dragged on, hanging in the kitchen making her coffee and just dragging time on and on. It was killing me coz I was dying to see if it's still frozen or it solved itself.

She turned it on.


The screen was still frozen. I was dying of anticipation at this point, so Bish and I went out to see if the computer was okay - which is wasn't. Screen still frozen and mouse making funny sounds when it's moved. We told Julie that it was this way last night when we left. And so Julie pressed the reset button...

Thank you so much God.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Computers Hate Me

It's true, it's a fact of life...I should just resign to this fact and live with it...but I never ever learn my lesson. Each time the computer displays it's hate, I scream, kick up a big fuss, have a major arguement with it which kind of goes like "I HATE YOU, WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BE NICE TO ME" and the next day, we are back to square one, using the computer, in anticipation for it's next big fuss.

Today was one of THE DAYS. It was nearing the end of the day at work, I was using the work computer to view and save some pictures I had taken in the earlier part of the afternoon and just as I closed the program, I must have clicked one too many or something, I can't remember, but the entire screen froze on me, except for the mouse, which made this funny sound when moved. I don't know what happened and it scares me. It's work property and I'm afraid I'll get into trouble if something does go wrong. But then again, it's about time to change our computer. We have a new hard drive waiting to replace the current one and a new camera card reader as well, which will be changed tomorrow, but right now, I am just worried that the screen will be frozen come morn.

Bish, my colleague told me to just turn the monitor off and solve it tomorrow if the screen is frozen, which he thinks won't be. He thinks it'll all work itself out and be okay. I really hope that's the case! I am so worried. I knew it was about time a computer threw it's fit on me...I knew it but WHY TODAY, WHY AT WORK. If it was at home, even though I would be much more abusive to the computer, but at least I know that it's only money to replace it (last resort) and the only people I have to face is family - not as scary as having to face my managers and run the risk of having the whole hard drive erased - loads and loads of important stuff, though I have this feeling that everything is saved on a server anyway, not on the hard drive itself.

The whole way home, I prayed to God to help me solve my situation, to get me out of this fix...and I am supposed to pray as if I have received it, but it's hard. It's hard to think, to put my mind at ease, that everything will be okay come morning because God will help me solve it. Nevertheless, I am ever so thankful that at least I know I have, beside me, an almighty and powerful God who can do anything, who is taking care of me, watching over me 24/7, especially when I need a miracle (like this one) - I know I always blow things out of proportion, making them seem more serious that it is - especially with my computer troubles, But at least I have Him to depend upon and I know God will answer my prayers in His own special way.

Will keep you posted tomorrow about how I managed to wriggle my way out of this work situation.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

My newest dream: become a Regional Bank Manager or...

Oh...I completely forgot to blog about my current, newest dream.

That is, to become a bank regional manager!!

Why? Well...on Sunday, we met this friend of a friend. She and her husband just moved over to NZ because her husband got posted to NZ (he’s a regional bank manager) and they'll be over here for about 3 years.

Why do I want to become a regional bank manager? Well…coz the lady we met (her husband had to go to Sydney for business - LUCKY), she told amazing stories of her life!!!

Where should I start? I don't know where to start...hmz...let's start with her husband's job, the regional bank manager!! They get to travel around the world!! It's so amazing and I think I would absolutely suit this life...travelling and experiencing the amazing different cultures. And everytime they live in a place, it's for a couple of years, or more...(oh, forgot to intro, she's an Indonesian and he's Irish, and they have a son who's 17 years old - MIXED) but anyway, back to the countries they've lived in. I am not sure how many different countries, but I think they have lived in the UK, I think at one point in time, LA was involved as well coz she mentioned something about teaching in LA to an American student (oh sorry for being so incoherent, but she's a hypnotist - is that how they spell it - and she specialises in teaching others how to become hypnotists or something along that lines - it's to do with health and getting into people's minds to solve their personal problems) and they have lived quite a few years in Singapore, where their son attended a local school...and then they moved to Hong Kong for several years (I would love to visit Hong Kong one day) and previously, they have been living in Japan for the past three years (Japan - JAPAN - need I say more!!), until now, New Zealand!! Amazing. She sold me on UK - classy life, Hong Kong - shopping life, and Japan - interesting and funky life. If Korea was involved, I would be SCREAMING for that job NOW!!!

Anyway...now that I have laid the foundation to the many many many countries they have lived in and I believe many more to come, I shall now go on to say why I would love this...I have always been interested in this sort of lifestyle...travelling around the world, living in a place for more than a year because anything shorter and you wouldn't really pick up any new language or feel any attachment, but if it's for more than a year, the experience would be different and I would love to live in many different countries and actually experience the culture and meet many different kinds of people from all the different walks of life. I really think it would be so cool. And I have always said I want my children to experience school in many different places because it's always been my dream to study in a Korean High School, mix with Japanese classmates, join the cheerleading squad in an American High and hang with jocks, attend an English school and learn french. I just think it would be such an eye opener and such an amazing experience (my personal feeling when I was still schooling) and as I reasoned, if I feel this way and dream of such an experience, my children would probably be the same as well...you think? But I know reality is different from dreams...afterall, when you get to a new place, you have to make friends all over again and it is really hard - take it from me who went straight to 7th Form, from Singapore to NZ - and your learning would be disrupted because when you get to a new country, you have to learn new things, get used to the education system and maybe even pick up a new language. It's not easy unless you are a very BRIGHT child - well, I wouldn't mind having a bright child, who wouldn't! Back to this couple...well, because of the amount of travelling that is required on the job, at the age of 11, when they moved to Hong Kong, their son was sent to a boarding school in UK...kind of sad, I know, but hey, with their salaries, their son travels to and fro during breaks and hols - LUCKY! They see each other about 6 to 8 times a year she informed.

Now on to the life of an expatriate...company perks - like a company car, accomodation provided - mostly gorgeous houses, a secured job - if done well, visiting many different countries - lifetime experience, and lastly, a BIG FAT SALARY - need I say more!!!

Wow...listening to her go on about her life in luxury is amazing. She isn't spoilt or like those classy rich people who put on aires, she appears to be like everyone of us, but her life...OOH. I have to go on. She always had servants waiting after her...in Hong Kong, in that small house (Hong Kong houses are not very big due to massive population in a small area), she had 2 servants, in Singapore as well and when she went over to Japan, she brought along her servant as well - LUCKY, I would love to go Japan!! But when she came over to NZ, her servant met someone and didn't want to come with her, so she has to look for someone to help around the house...and know what's her reasoning? She doesn't like to make her bed in the morning, she wants someone to do that for her -"that's like you," mum points to me - and she wants someone to cook for them...she says she likes cooking, but not everyday - ME ME ME...oh that reminds me, I need to start learning how to cook, me not getting any younger.

WOW...I would love to be a Regional Bank Manager and travel around the world - oh, or better - I would love to marry a Regional Bank Manager. Hee.

Update: Newest dream as of 11pm, 24th May 2005 - Marry a Regional Bank Manager.

Monday, May 23, 2005

Breezing Through, Keeping Up

Today, compared to Friday was such a breeze at work. I only had 2 car yards to visit and the workload wasn't overwhelming. It was nice to just be able to sit at my desk and twidle my thumbs...I even had time to sort of the copy envelops (kind of like filing or admin stuff which really isn't what my 3 year degree with double majors trained me for, but neither is my coordinator job, well, sort of not). Anyway, my point was, while I was sorting out the envelops, even though it was mundane stuff, nothing that requires brainworks, but compared to the hectic Friday, I prefered today. I'm suck a lazy person huh.

Anway, right now, I am just sitted in front of the television (body facing the television) trying to multitask. I have so many shows that I need to watch - got it all down on tape:

1) Charmed - last Tues (watching it halfway now)
2) Joey - last Wed
3) Scrubs - last Wed
4) Lost - last Wed
5) America's Next Top Model - last Fri
6) The OC - last Fri

That's a total of 5 hours...and well...I have to finish watching Charmed by tomorrow so I can be updated for tomorrow's episode, and the same for Joey, Scrubs and Lost for Wednesday and so on...BUSY BUSY BUSY.

Oh...adverts finished...back to the show (goes to show what an expert I am at multitasking).

Sunday, May 22, 2005


Haha...doesn't my new blog layout look pretty? (Ego glowing and growing)

I spent FOREVER on it...well...actually, I started hunting for a new template on Friday night. I had a rough idea of how I want my blog laid out, but I needed some help on coding so I thought I will just download some template and modify it from there...but Friday night was pretty unproductive...I hunted through the thousands of blogskins available for me to download and only managed to narrow it down to about 8 that would suit what I had in mind, but still, the perfect one wasn't among them. I gave up at around 3am on Saturday morning, heading off to bed. Oh, while I was surfing for blogskins, I was also chatting, which might have contributed to the delay.

Last night, I started designing my blog (actually doing something about it and now just looking and browsing the web) after watching 3 korean vcds at around 11.30pm. Oh did I mention, we have started watching a new korean drama serial - Stairway to Heaven - sounds tragic doesn't it? And I worked on it and chatted and worked on it till 3am again...and this time, it was almost done, except that I wanted to add a quote (see that quote at the top left hand corner of the blog). It took me forever to find a nice quote and I am still not satisfied with this quote...what I really want is to draw significance to the picture of me (yea, Jas, tsk tsk for not realising it was me), sitting there staring out into the horizon, and link it to memories and of course, I wanted it to be a credible quote or something sophisticated or pro-sounding. Not as easy as I thought...I don't believe there's no quote out there about the feeling of nostalgia or memories that links with the horizon or the beach...or something along those lines, but guess it's not so easy to find. I'll keep looking but this quote from Olivia will have to do for the time being, I guess.

Okay, time for another round of 2 korean drama episodes! Ta ta everyone!

Friday, May 20, 2005

The beauty of peace at the end of every day...

Today, I woke up thinking it would be a boring Friday. My Thursdays and Fridays at work are quite boring, but today, I was proven wrong...a quiet day turned out to be the busiest (maybe not the busiest coz I had time to eat my lunch unlike a couple of other days I've had).

This morning, I was supposed to go to a client's place at 9am to take some photos for a half page ad...but because they had not signed the booking form, nothing was confirmed, so I waited and finally at around 9.30pm, my sales rep to inform me that the ad was cancelled and I thought - well, that's it for me for the day since that was the only big thing I had scheduled for that day...

I was wrong...I was enlightened by the other sales coordinator that Mano wasn't coming in to work that day and we had to split his work between the both of us as she has quite a bit to do as well...so I gladly agreed to take on any job - didn't intend to spend my day sitting at my desk twirling my pen - not my style.

Bring it on!

King Kong Furniture - HELP!! Did I say bring it on? I meant bring on something else...but it was too late...at 10am, the client rang to ask if anyone was coming down to do the ad for Thursday's paper (that's for the 26th of May) and since I was given the responsibility of doing the King Kong Ad, I took the call and in 10 minutes, I met the client down at his shop.

History: I have done King Kong in the past (twice in fact to help Mano out) and for both times, it had been pretty stressful and I remember it was the days I had to do the King Kong Ad that I skipped lunch.

But I never expected today's curve ball. I spent 2 HOURS at my client's...he was disorganised!!! He had not planned ahead what he wanted to put into the ad and when I arrived, I stood around waiting for instructions while he flipped through his sale list and looked around the store as he mumbled "I have no clue what to put in the ad". THANK YOU VERY MUCH for all that preparation. I thought at least with him actually ringing up to ask if anyone was coming down, he would have been prepared - but no...on the contrary...but it had been like that for that past 2 times I went in...so I wasn't expecting anything more...

The thing was, I have never ever spent 2 hours at King Kong before...the most was an hour and a bit...but not 2 hours. We were just taking photos and getting details written down...I still had to return to the office and draft up the ad as well as write the instructions for production to make up the ad. I knew my afternoon wasn't look pleasant...but I was optimistic!

After King Kong, I popped into the nearest Big M for a nice choc sundae treat for my huge effort and headed back to office, arriving just after 12 noon, an hour later than I had expected. I had other stuff to do as well...just little pieces of work lying on my desk, needing to be done. It only took me 20 minutes to finish those and I got on to King Kong at around 1pm, thinking I can finish it in an hours time and I'll have a relaxing afternoon to help Ruby with the other work...but I was wrong. I underestimated the time taken for the King Kong Ad and by the time I had finished all the copy and instructions, it was nearly 3pm. I was relieved that it was done, in time for the 4pm courier man to arrive and pick it up to take it back to productions.

I had a quick lunch, knowing that I had other ad copies to do and photos to send. After the 15 minute break, I was back at my desk, writing out instructions for 2 other ads that I had to do (quick 10 minute copies)...that wasn't too bad...but then...*berampambish*

My manager informed me that because one client drew out (this was that client whose photos I had to take at 9am but got cancelled), there was a FULL PAGE space in the Tuesday's Manukau Courier (24th of May) and guess who decided to take up this flick ad opportunity? (Flick Ads are where the full page ads are priced cheaply because the space needs to be filled up.)

KING KONG!!! And this time, in FULL PROCESS COLOUR!!! So I had to ring up the client and find out details - hopefully convince him to use the same sale items in the Thursday's ad so I didn't need to write up more instructions, but I still had to write new instructions for colour.

COLOUR - the major complication. Why? Let me enlighten you in bullet points so that I don't confuse all of you who are reading - you are probably confused already with all these work terms and good on you if you are still hanging on here, won't be long now!

1) King Kong's past few ads are in black and white
2) Their last colour ad was in Nov '94 - VERY LONG AGO
3) Thursday's ad (the one I finished at 3pm this afternoon after a painstaking morning) is in black and white
4) Tuesday's ad (the one I was JUST informed about) is in COLOUR
5) Thursday's ad required some pictures of sale items to be lifted from a previous black and white ad - STILL OKAY coz Thursday's ad is black and white as well
6) Tuesday's ad had the same items as the Thursday's - but just IN COLOUR. The 27 pics I had taken this morning are okay since they are taken in colour, but for 6 pics that I had to lift from a previous ad which were saved as black and white - BIG PROBLEM!!!
7) Time check: 3.40pm then.
8) Last Courier man e.t.a: 4pm
9) COMPLICATION: Had to write up new COLOUR instructions in 20 minutes so that I could get this Tuesday's ad copy to production via the last courier pick up of the day.
10) PROBLEM: Had to go back to client's shop to take 6 more COLOURED pics of missing items.

Anyway, I managed to, with the help of a colleague and the patience of the courier man, get the ad copy and instructions done and cared off by 4.10pm. Then I rang the client to ask if I could come down and take more pics.

TWIST: Client credit failed. King Kong had outstanding owing amount of $8000 still haven't paid so Accounts declined this new ad for Tuesday. WONDERFUL ain't it? After all that hard work and rush, all washed down the drain - at least I don't need to go down to the shop and take more pics.

ADDED I.T. PROBLEMS at 4.30pm: As if my situation couldn't get any worse, Ruby was in the process of sending pictures from our computer to production's computer. And recently, we have been experiencing some problems with our camera card drive...after Ruby has used the camera card drive to load photos, when I insert my camera card after she has used it, the hard drive cannot be opened and my photos can't be found. The only way to go around this problem is to SHUT DOWN the computer and start it up again. NO CAN DO. She was transfering photos...I couldn't possibly shut down the computer...so I waited and waited and waited for her transfer process to finish. 4.45pm - TRANSFER COMPLETE.



It was 4.50pm when I started sorting through the pictures I took this morning, opening each picture and saving each picture under it's unique identification number so that production would be able to insert them into the right positions. This is a relative tedious process as it involves:
1) Brightening the picture (if the picture is in poor light)
2) Saving the picture into the transfer file:
C:\>PHOTOS > PHOTOFILE folder >TRANS folder >photo identification number.
3) Repeat this saving process with the remaining 27 pics!

Bish, my colleague accompanied me coz he didn't want me working alone...I FINALLY finished at 5.10pm!! WORKED 10 MINUTES OVERTIME!!!

We hit the transfer button and turned off the monitor screen and headed home.

That was the end of my busy day...ABOUT TIME!! It was enough drama for the day I reckon...but the beauty of it? Yes, in all that mad rush and under that immense stress, there is still beauty...the beauty of peace when I leave my work place, not needing to bring anything home with me, being able to leave everything at work and come home to peace and quiet...not needing to worry about anything, and not having "homework", UNLIKE UNI and that's why, despite all that stress during the day, I still prefer working than studying...just simply because I have time to destress every evening, unlike studying, a definite 24-7 job.

Monday, May 16, 2005

I got married to someone I never expected!!

AHHHHH, I got married...

...in my dreams! Silly you if you actually believed me, but honestly, having MY wedding in a dream is just as real and I think, much more freaky then real life coz it gets you thinking deeper into what the dream could mean...

So lets drift into dreamland as I take you along to my wedding day.

It was a pretty day and the church wedding bells were ringing - okay okay...let's cut the crap and get straight to the point of who my future husband was...

You know in life (I'm getting there, BE PATIENT!), there are just some guys that you will never ever consider...as in, like...each person has a certain attraction to some type of person and to others, all they are to them are friends. You know what I mean? Like take for example you are walking along the street and (okay, this may sound solely on superficial appearances but) you walk by many different looking guys (or girls to you males out there) and some guy's just catch your attention and make you look twice, while others just drift by as a shadow walking by. What I am getting here is that there are certain friends of yours you will never ever consider as a possible 'husband-cy' candidate, let alone boyfriend. And that night when I had that dream (it was a couple of nights ago but I realised my blog needed serious juicing up so today, being not so lazy, I decided I would share with the world my good news), my husband turned out to be someone I knew or more like someone I ONCE knew more than 5 years ago in Singapore, someone who I have never ever considered, and someone I don't even talk to right now or even in Singapore, I don't think I have ever had a proper convo with him before because I just don't know him and he's not in my age group. Maybe a few 'hi's and 'how's it's but that's about it as far as our friendship goes. He's not even a someone I would think about from time to time - not even once in a blue moon (not once since I moved here to NZ 4 years ago, until just a few days ago) - unlike some other guys who would pop up in my memories once in a while, just wondering how they are doing in life. So yes, it was a massive shock when I discovered that he was my husband. Even in the dream, it felt weird.

You would think when you are in a dream, eveything feels real and events happen as it does...no weirdness...but the funny thing was, I was weirded-out (in my dream) when I found myself standing beside my husband on our wedding day. So the dream proceeds on as we walk down the aisle - ra ra ra (as it does) - and somehow, after all that, it cuts to the next scene (or rather I can only remember the next scene) where it's the evening event or something after the wedding service and exchanging of vows...he went off to mingle with his friends, and I went off to socialise with mine and after entertaining for a while, we found ourselves side by side. I look up at him (he's a real tall guy in real life and in my dream, he was 2 feet taller, towering over me) and he looked down at me and I gave a smile, thinking to myself, "this is my husband" (it's suppose to be romantic at that time coz it's our wedding day and we are newly weds and all that) and I slipped my arms around his waist as you would to the man that you love and - this feeling is actually from me, the bride, in my dream - I just looked up at this guy standing beside me, my husband and I had this sense of doubt like "I don't know him well at all (as it is in real life) and I'm married to him??" And it was just a very funny feeling...not a feeling you would get when you marry someone you love...it was more like a feeling from the real me, yet I was still in my dream if you get what I mean. It's like the real me felt the weirdness while the dreamland me was still dreaming about my wedding day. It's a little hard to describe, like the real me was in the dream for that split second, like I detached from reality and submerged into my dream for that second to realise the weirdness before the dream self too over and I think I woke up then...feeling all weird and laughing to myself at this hilarious dream.

Then the more I thought back to the dream, the more questions started to surface...what does this mean? Yes, it was a nice wedding, but my wedding? I'm thinking of getting married? And to him? Was there a reason behind this? Why him?

I realised - oh this dream was Friday night - that throughout the whole of Friday, while at work, I was wondering how much an entire wedding would cost...and how much I would have to save...you see, it all makes sense (except the 'him' part) coz on Thursday, Mason, a colleague of mine, came up with this money making scheme, where we were to put $50 away every week into a savings account with a 6% interest rate and leave the money, compounding the interest, and after 10 years, you would have around $40,000 and in 30 years, $400,000+...and also coz a couple days back, in read in one of our local courier papers, this lady had her wedding photos stolen and it cost her around $4000 for that album and she was pleading with the theives to return it...that was all she wanted and I just went "$4000!!!" Goodness, that's insane and that's when I took up an interest into how much my wedding would cost, looking like I didn't want to hire a dress but have mine tailor-made and the reception and all that and if a pro photo album costs around $4000 or more, plus a bridal gown - NOT CHEAP - yikes...I am staring at an over $10k figure and on Friday, it didn't help that I had nothing much to do and that's why I took up the wedding section of the Aucklander (a special feature) that was left on our common table to read...and I guess, after putting two and two together, I now realise why I dreamt about marriage that night...

But I'm still baffled as to "WHY HIM"? Please, if anyone out there can explain...please do!

P.S. Even if I tell you his name, all of you guys wouldn't have a clue who he is coz he's not someone I know well enough and really linked into my life for me to talk about.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

Bored Bored Bored

I'm Bored Bored Bored...

Here I am, on a Sunday night and it's only 9.20pm...I'm SO BORED! Wish I could do something...meet someone...get out of this house...

Or maybe I could sleep - but it's so early!!


Thursday, May 12, 2005

Tears of Cheers to Mon Pere and Ma Mere

Beautiful photos for memories sake...

Loving parents who'd do anything for their daughters...

I'm very blessed.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Hide under covers and CRY

Today was such a suck day! Right now, I just want to hide under covers and CRY my eyes out.

What made it so bad? I caused my colleague to lose part of his commission.

This morning, I went out to this car yard to take pics and I was also told to pic up a cheque as well for the ad amount - $650.47. Well...I forgot about it and when I got back to the office and was reminded of it, I rushed back out immeidately to pick it up but the manager had left for the day, I didn't have my cheque and I was so worried. This is the first time I have made such a big mistake and I didn't want to go back to the office. I didn't know how to face a colleague and my assistant manager without a cheque...but of course I had to and I prayed so hard for everything to be alright...

I was given the big boss' contact number...you see, in such a car yard, there's always a chain of yards managed by one big boss...so I rang up this big boss as well, but he was contactless...out of the office and I left an urgent message - coz maybe he would be able to give the cheque. But he never got back and I got more worried and I prayed and prayed...telling myself to trust God, that he will make everything right, he'll solve my problems, I just have to ask and know that I have received it.

I tried so hard...sometimes, it's quite hard when trials face you and you pray, but you get no response and then it gets harder to pray and believe that you HAVE already received it - that God will answer and I should leave it all up to him as if it has already been solved.

Anyway, the phone call I waited for the entire day afternoon never arrived and when my colleague returned to the office, I told him what happened. He said that he had also reminded the client to give me a cheque so he's also at fault - both of us are...and he said he would ring up the client (who had left for the day).

In the end, I asked Mason how the call went and he said they cancelled the ad. Mason lost or the company lost the $650.47 in revenue and Mason - I'm not too sure coz I don't know how they calculate the commission - but he might have lost his commission as well. You see, I am not sure if they have to reach a growth target for sales first before they start receiving commission on the extra business they bring in to the company...or that they receive commission on every single piece of ad space they sell, regardless of their growth target. So I might have or might not have caused him to loose his commission. But anyway, of course I felt suck for being responsible for this lost of business and I apologised and Mason just said, "yep" and that was it...I mean, it didn't turn out as bad as I had anticipated - Mason holding a grudge with me forever or for quite a while and speaking to me only when he needs to - but instead, it was just a "yep" and after a while, he spoke to me regarding another ad and it seemed alright...like no big grudge barrier...I mean, he may be disappointed that he lost some business, who wouldn't be, but he didn't really hang on and bother too much.

I spoke to another colleague when she asked me how was my day and I told her about it (she's also another coordinator like me) and she said she has done that before too and Jo, this other sales rep was pooing about it, but you get over it...we are humans and we make mistakes...I mean...people forget stuff so she told me to forget about it.

You see, I seldom collect any cheques, I just go out and take photos. So today, it completely escaped my mind that I also had to pick up a cheque since it's not always part of my job...

It dawned upon me, this is God's reply to me...God answered my prayers and sometimes, God doesn't always answer prayers the way we want them to be answered. He answers it in his own way, to what is best for us and I know he was with me the entire day today, as I waited for the call and prepared for the worst...he gave me a reply that wasn't as bad as in anticipated. Mason didn't "KILL" me as I had prepared myself for and so it turned out good because the most worrying thing when I realised I was responsible for this lost was how Mason would react to it because I really care about people's opinion about myself...so yea...God answered my prayers directly, in his own cute and special way and this trial also serves as a reminder for me to always remember to flip through my organiser before I leave a client's place to make sure I've done everything I have been told to do.

I am so glad I have God watching over me and taking care of me in times of need and I am thankful for God's own way of answering prayers.

Lastly, thank you God that the day is FINALLY OVER. Stop blaming myself, sleep on it, and tomorrow is a new day.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

My "Memories" with Kangta

Yesterday, while clearing up the mess on my bedroom floor (shoving everything into the cupboard), I discovered this Kangta Special Photo Album: Dear Memories. It's his photo album for his second solo CD. I totally forgot I had it and I have never explored it in detail so last night was the first time I opened it and really looked at every page in the book.

It's Kangta...what more can I say...it was nice returning back to my secondary school days again, dreaming of and being in love with him. Right now, I'm watching this special music video that was included with the photo album and OH MY GOSH!! Why haven't I seen this sooner? I mean, I don't see how I could have forgotten all about it till now...what's going on Lorraine??

Haha...anyway, it was just nice seeing Kangta in action again. Now, on the video, he's talking (who knows what about? Oh!! He just said thank you!) and I just rediscovered why I want to learn how to speak korean...it's just something about that language, hearing it just makes me want to speak it!! I think even without Kangta entering into my life, I would still have this passion for the korean language.

Maybe I was born a korean in my past life.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Topic: How safe is safe?

How safe is my blog?

Sometimes I wonder to myself regarding the safety and privacy of my blog. I recognise that with it being on the web, it is global and open to the public's scrutiny, but am I putting myself at risk when I expose the nitty gritty of my life. Sometimes, I try to write discretely, but it's not so easy since an online blog is like a diary...well...a not so secret diary.

Sometimes I wonder to myself who else is reading my blog apart from my friends...sometimes, curiosity kills my cat and I click to see who's on the next couple of blogs and scan through their blog as well...so what are the chances of strangers clicking to view my blog and reading all that I have published about myself?

Sometimes I wonder what happens if this blog lands in the wrong hands, and the pictures displayed on my blog becomes an object for distortion and defamation. I wonder, with all the information I have disclosed, could I have subjected myself to danger of being hunted down?

And sometimes I wonder, is my blog worth this risk?

Tuesday, May 03, 2005


I'm Free!!!

What am I free from? Well, I'm finally, OFFICIALLY, free from my compulsory studying life!! Yes...FREE as a bird!!

All my life, I have slogged and suffered, stressed and sacrificed, all for THE DAY - yesterday - the 2nd of May:


The day I officially say sayonara to my COMPULSORY studying life. Note the word 'COMPULSORY'. Why? Because I have parents who believe that you need at least a degree to make it out in society and to live in reasonable comfort. I know, there are heaps of other examples of famous people do not even hold a degree, but to my parents and many others trapped in that era, a degree is the bare minimum. And finally, at long last, THE DAY has come, THE DAY I am officially set free from the strings that have strangled and kept me in captivity - STUDYING.

This day is even bigger than my 21st!! And there was a fantastic celebration to mark the day for many others alike.

On the morning of May 2nd, 2005, it took me an alarm call at 6am and 3 snoozes to get out of bed. I barely had anything to fill my tummy, just a banana, and spent the next hour getting ready for the big day ahead.

At 7.20am sharp, we left the house, embracing ourselves for the HEAVY MORNING TRAFFIC ahead. We finally got to the city at 8.20am, and after a cruel and confusing exploration of the Victoria Car Park in the city, we finally found the early bird section and disembarked from the car. Along the streets, I spotted other graduants in their gowns and I took my cue to get into my couture.

When I arrived at the Strata, where the BBIMers were gathered for morning breakfast and photos, I was greeted by some faculty members of the BBIM degree, congratulating me as we broke out in small polite talk. I also met my fellow uni mates, which marked the start of many flashes.

Our 5 minutes of FAME and FLASHES

There was one photo we took, the big bunch of BBIMers...and we called everyone who were there to gather and heaps of parents stood around, snapping while we posed for the many cameras, and as more people we knew appeared, we called them into the picture and a whole new round of snaps took place...FLASH FLASH FLASH FLASH...that was our 5 minutes of fame. Seriously, we were just standing there for a whole 5 minutes as flashes just went around. Our eyes were looking at many different cameras and with all the photos I took, not one was on a good angle, with everyone looking at that one camera...I'm hoping the photos from our other camera (non-digital kind) will turn out better.

YAY for us!

After the breakfast gathering, we headed off to the Marqee where we were to assemble in lines and after hanging and catching up with a lot of others who did not make it for the breakfast (many more flashes), we left on our march down Queen Street to the Old Town Hall where the grad ceremony was held. It was a cool march, parents and family and friends lined the sides, taking heaps of photos as we walked down Queen Street as if we ruled it. Traffic stopped at our feet for us to own the streets, it was amazing. I felt so GRAND!!

More FLASHES in the Marqee

Our march down Queen Street

We OWN Queen Street!!

We entered into the Town Hall, getting into lines, and I realised I was the second last graduant for that ceremony. So CLOSE!! Haha...I'm used to it...always one of the last. It has become a fun challenge: to be the last. However, this other girl took my last place being a 'Zhen'.

However, it was so cool when we entered into the ceremony room. We were the centre of attention and it felt GREAT.

We were the 'special...' and the 'but most importantly..." as the boring speakers greeted us - the graduants. Who cares about the other important figures like the chancellor or the lecturers, professors and doctors...it was "Good morning chancellor, vice chancellor, faculty members, ...blah blah blah...honoured guests, but MOST IMPORTANTLY, the graduants."

We rest of the ceremony was kind of boring, blah blah blah more names blah blah blah...but when it got to BBIM, it started to spice up. It was my turn soon, and we all started feeling excited but more nervous than anything else, with the biggest worry: tripping over on stage.

I was actually more concerned about how I could pose for the cameras. So many people went up on stage, shook hands, and put on their cap wthout looking at the audience at all and I was wondering how I could do all that and still look at my daddy who would be poised with a camera somewhere in the audience. I practiced it over and over in my head, but the real deal was different.

"Lorraine Zhang Xin" Doug Carrie, dressed like a ' court jester' in his gown, read out with his Canadian accent.

I took a breath and walked towards the chancellor. I smiled my best and shook his hand.

"Congratulations." He smiled at me. I thanked him and continued my way off the stage. However, I paused and looked up at daddy so he could take a photo of me. I put on my trencher (cap) making sure the tassle was on the left and walked off the stage, receiving my cert from the person standing at the bottom of the stairs. I went back to my seat and we sang the NZ anthem, blah blah blah blah and THE END!!

We all headed out and took more photos, until it started to drizzle. That's when the crowd dispersed and we headed towards this dim sum restaurant for lunch. It was the first time Jacques' parents, Jas' mum and my parents and grandparents met.

Showing off the piece of paper we worked so hard for!!

My KEY to freedom!!

However, I learnt one thing, dim sum is not a great choice when going with friends and acquintances (people you just met) because everyone is so polite, they don't order what they really want to order and yea, it just felt weird and I felt bad for being the one who decided to have dim sum, because I don't think everyone had their fill.

Sunshine - Dim Sum Restaurant

Anyway, after lunch, we went back to our Tamaki Campus to take more photos. We have more memories at this campus than the city campus, since all our classes were at Tamaki. It just would seem wrong of we didn't return to take photos at our own campus...

Our "home" for the last 3 years...

Looking back on old times...

We only got back home at 4.30pm!! TIRED!! My legs were aching and I was DEAD TIRED. I just wanted to sleep, but at 5.30pm, we (Jacques, Jas, Justina and I) left for Carolyn's place for a graduation party, so I didn't really catch any winks.

I ended up having to drive all my friends to the party. This was the first time I had driven my friends in my baby and I had a couple of backseat drivers, but I know...I admit that my driving is not smooth at all and I definitely have room for improvement, so that was alright. I did want to throw Jacques out at some stage, but Raine is too nice to do that anyway. We dropped off our hired regelia and headed over to Carolyn's.

Honestly, I dont know about the others, but I think we all felt kind of out of place. They were all kiwis and we aren't really close to them. Don't know how we got invited, maybe coz I used to (in my first year when I didn't know anyone and the first friends I made were with 2 kiwi girls, Carolyn and Kendal) hang with them and also coz Yaxi knows them well and she knows us well, plus, we were always kind of, or sort of...well...in BBIM, we have 4 groups. First is the older, more elderly and more hardout people who sit in the front. Then there's the international students from Hong Kong, China or Taiwan who hang in the front of the class, with their own cliques and speak their own languages. Then there's the Kiwis who hang right at the back of the class - the so-called 'popular bunch' if you think American - and then there's us. The lot of Asians and some Kiwis who don't quite fit in with the international students coz we don't speak the language fluently, and we don't really fit in with the kiwis as well. But we got along better with the kiwis and we are situated in the middle, but nearer the back of the class. So in a nutshell, we know them better and we got invited.

It was not too bad...awkward at first but there were kiwis who were chatty and sociable, who would come up to us and start a convo, so it got progressively better throughout the night. We didn't stay on too late though. Justina and Jas had uni work and I wanted to sleep early (catch up on sleep), so we all headed back. I got home by 10 and was in bed by 10.30pm.

Good bye, Sayonara